Autism Diagnosis Myths That Can Affect Mental Health

There is a harmful myth that parents of autistic children are often exposed to. It goes something like this: "You should hide your child's autism diagnosis to help them reach their full potential." 

On the surface, this can appear to be a well-intentioned sentiment. But there is a damaging flip side to this way of thinking – it reinforces ideas about hiding one’s true self, which delays the opportunity for identity acceptance. In therapy terms, this is known as “avoidance coping.”

We now have reliable mental health research that helps guide parents through this important rite of passage for a child. The disclosure of an autism diagnosis carries a wide range of implications for a person’s life and self-identity. No matter when this disclosure is made, autistic people must manage this diagnosis throughout their entire lives. It will always be a component of their identity. 

There are complex and interconnected issues that parents grapple with as they consider when to share this information with their child, such as the invisible nature of autism and the stigma that surrounds it. The child’s environment and personal narrative can also have an impact.   

Feel good factor

A recent study examined how and when a group of 78 autistic university students learned about their diagnosis and their feelings about this experience. The 2022 research article, which was published in the journal Autism, uses this question as its title: “Does learning you are autistic at a younger age lead to better adult outcomes?”

Researchers discovered that individuals who learned they were autistic at a younger age tended to report having a healthier well-being. They also achieved higher test scores when they were measured for autism-specific quality of life. 

Respondents listed various benefits that flowed from knowing their diagnosis at an early age. They were able to build self-understanding and compassion, find autistic allies, and access the support they needed.

Although the study participants who learned their diagnosis at an older age reported having some positive feelings early on when the truth was first revealed, this was mainly attributed to feelings of relief. Researchers concluded that this didn’t make up for the loss of the benefits that could have been gained if they had known they were autistic when they were younger. 

This is particularly significant because far more resources have historically been dedicated to the identification and support of autistic toddlers and children than those available for adults.

Reactions will vary

One of the study’s authors, Kristen Gillespie-Lynch, said factors that should be considered when making this decision include the child's developmental level, support needs, curiosity, and personality. Gillespie-Lynch is a professor of developmental and educational psychology at the College of Staten Island and the Graduate Center at the City University of New York. 

Another one of the study’s authors, Bella Kofner, has personal experience on this subject. She is on the autism spectrum and didn’t speak until she was seven years old. Kofner urged parents to keep in mind that even though there are benefits to telling a child their diagnosis at a young age, everyone’s reaction to learning they are autistic is different. 

“When you decide to tell your child about their autism, encourage your child to be themselves so that they can embrace their autism identity,” Kofner said. “Tell your child about their autism diagnosis in words that they can understand.”

She added that it’s important for the child to know “that you are there for them no matter what they go through as autistic individuals in life.” 

Embrace the diagnosis

So the research is clear: ignoring or minimizing your child’s diagnosis has serious consequences. It delays the support they desperately need. And delayed interventions deprive them of opportunities for growth, enrichment, and enhanced capability. The research mirrors what I see every day in clinical practice! 

Downplaying a diagnosis can also harm the mental health of the child’s parents, which can lead to increased stress and burnout. 

The objective is not to shield your child from what they are experiencing. Instead, it is to help them achieve self-acceptance. By accepting and embracing your child’s diagnosis with them, you can invest your effort and resources into dynamic strategies that honor your child's personhood. 

Reaching this level of acceptance amplifies progress and growth in both you and your child. Accepting a child’s diagnosis helps parents manage stress, feel better emotionally, and gain a more balanced perspective on their child’s difficulties.

_{Study Reference: Oredipe T, Kofner B, Riccio A, Cage E, Vincent J, Kapp SK, Dwyer P, Gillespie-Lynch K. Does learning you are autistic at a younger age lead to better adult outcomes? A participatory exploration of the perspectives of autistic university students. Autism. 2023 Jan;27(1):200-212. doi: 10.1177/13623613221086700. Epub 2022 Apr 11. PMID: 35404160.}